Walt Disney World Trip Assistance
Do you still have a nagging feeling that you'd kind of like to go to Walt Disney World? Got a spouse, significant other, or family member who isn't convinced you shouldn't go? Consider the following unassailable facts:
- No vacation is worth a second mortgage.
- A Disney World vacation costs so much money and takes so much advance planning, that nobody cancels one, even if they're deathly ill. You run a greatly increased risk of picking up a fatal disease (sleeping sickness, leprosy, etc.) when standing in line with a gaggle of people who are just a pillow away from their death bed.
- When Disney World was in its planning stages, Walt Disney made a deal with the state of Florida making the resort something close to its own sovereign nation. Disney World is a law unto itself and as close to a police state as you can get in the U.S.
- Crocodiles. There are wild crocodiles on Disney World property. Or alligators. (We always get those confused.)
- You have to make advance reservations for everything at Disney World or risk missing out. Every show, every meal, requires a reservation, and reservations can only be made the day before. Or the week before. Or 60 days before. Or 90 days before. Actually, the day you are allowed to make reservations varies depending on what you want to make reservations for, and if you don't make them on exactly the right day, you'll either be shut out or be seated behind a post.
- For people arriving at Walt Disney World by air, the resort offers Magical Express, a service by which Disney picks you up at the airport and makes sure that you never see the outside world (and, in some cases, your luggage) again.
- Walt Disney himself planned Epcot as a perpetually modern community of people working together with technology to make a better world. The company built a theme park instead.
- Little kids will be bored at Epcot and the Disney Studios. Older people will be worn out by all the walking at Disney's Animal Kingdom. Teenagers will hate everything.
- Because so much of Disney World is still in its natural, swampy state, if you wander off the beaten path too far, you may become lost and never be seen again.
- There is no other place in the world where you can pay so much money only to spend the day being constantly enticed to spend more money.